It's A Punderful Life
by knives4cash
Summary: Team RWBY enjoys a winter break at the Schnee Estate. Feels ensue. Merry Christmas!


Part thirty-eight of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose"

* * *

If someone had told me that I would grow up to spend a weekend at one of the most powerful enemies of the faunus as an honored guest, I would have laughed at them. If they then added that I would spend said weekend in the arms of the most loving, compassionate, and endearing human woman that ever walked this land, I would have laughed harder. If they finished by telling me that I would also be in good company with the heiress of the Schnee company, I would have keeled over and died.

We've confined ourselves to a single room in the estate, which is very grande in itself, but this one small room will suffice for the four of us. A dark wooden floor, cushioned by a single, massive white rug with the Schnee logo rests on the surface. Magnificent marble walls are partially concealed by bookshelves on the east wall. A massive window on the south spans inches off of the floor to inches away from the ceiling, and it showcases that a few inches of snow have already collected, while more continues to gently fall with no wind to ruffle the landscape. A crackling, blazing, brick-layered hearth on the north wall provides plenty of heat and sets a very cozy setting. This setting is only intensified by a solid black, full sized grand piano that sits in the center of the room, facing the north. Against the west wall is a very comfortable couch, which is currently being occupied by myself and Yang, who has me against her bosom, her legs intertwined with mine and her arms draped around my midriff. She keeps her hands busy with mindless wandering.

We both turn our heads to the sound the double doors opening. Weiss Schnee enters with a massive tray of cookies and four tall glasses of milk. Ruby Rose frolics in behind her, practically exploding with excitement. But a third figure follows, and from what I've seen thus far, she is Vinixa Lewda, Weiss's most loyal and loving servant. She brings three boxes, one wrapped in red, the second in black, and the third in yellow. Huh, not very subtle.

Weiss sets the tray on the rectangular glass table that stands in front of the couch. "Just place them here, Vixxy." Weiss instructs. Turning around, she specifically takes the red gift into her own grasp as the servant obeys. "Now, I will not have you dote over us as if we were infants." She motions with one hand to the door whilst firmly grasping her gift in the other. "Leave us. I know you have your own girlfriend that you'd rather be with."

Vinixa gracefully curtsies, long and black hair flowing down her uniform. "As you wish, Miss Schnee." She pauses, looking into her eyes and raising an eyebrow with a smirk. "Or would you rather be refered to as Mrs. Rose?"

Ruby reels away, slapping her hands to her face and stifling a giggle. She makes herself busy by giving the window a thorough examination.

Weiss roles her eyes and scoffs, "If you jump the gun too far, you'll get shot in the back, Vixxy." She places her free hand on Vinixa's shoulder and pecks her on the cheek. "Now go, before I have you fuel the fire with your hair." She motions towards the hearth with a threatening smirk.

She chuckles. "Call if you need anything." Vinixa offers as she quickly retreats with a grin on her face, closing the doors behind her as she exits.

Weiss sets the red gift alongside the two others and sighs with relief. "She practically raised me." She explains as she brings the silver tray towards us. With great reluctance, I begin to pull myself away from Yang's grasp to receive Weiss's offer, but Yang holds me down.

"Relax, kitty cat, I got this." Yang declares with confidence. She transfers one glass of milk into my grasp, and takes a single cookie from the tray. "Say, 'Ah'." She requests, holding the cookie up to my mouth.

Weiss and I both scoff. But I comply. Hmm, oatmeal raisin, chewy.

"Agh, I wish I had a a camera with me!" Ruby wines as she comes over to the us. "You two are so adorable!" She explains as she wraps one arm around Weiss and uses her free hand to claim a cookie for herself.

"Sorry, sis. Not all of us can hit the jackpot." Yang apologizes without a hint of sorrow in her tone. In fact, I do believe she's grinning.

I pull my legs up, as does Yang, allowing two more people to sit down.

Ruby takes her seat on the far left of the couch and mimics Yang's position. Weiss sets the tray back down on the glass coffee table and places herself in Ruby's grasp.

We're polar opposites.

Yang is extroverted, rambunctious, strong. Ruby is introverted, quiet, but tentative and almost adhesive towards Weiss. I am reserved, thoughtful, and conserved. Weiss is opinionated, not particularly sensitive towards sensitive matters, although she has improved over the years.

But right now, with the way we are positioned, we're mirror images.

"Aaah." I open my mouth, and Yang moves the cookie within my reach again.

"Oh! Good idea!" Ruby acknowledges as she grabs a cookie from the tray and holds it up to Weiss.

She scoffs. "I am perfectly capable of feeding myself, you know." A single peck on her nape from Ruby, and she melts, immediately complying.

"Thank you." Ruby sing-songs ever so sweetly, resting her chin on Weiss's left shoulder.

"Next, you'll be copying your sister's tactics in bed." Weiss murmurs as she looks away from my direction with a light blush.

Ruby hides her face in Weiss's hair as Yang laughs. "I don't think so, princess! You don't have the right..." She uses a hand to ruby my faunus ears, eliciting an unwanted moan from me. "Sensitive zones." She chuckles, withdrawing her hand and moving it back to my thigh.

"Oh, woe unto me." She broke out a grin. "Truly orgasmic sex requires four ears. I shall never know the euphoria that is Yang Xiao Long's touch." She rubs her back against Ruby. "Feed me."

"I've been meaning to ask you, Blake." Ruby remembers as she grabs another cookie and holds it in front of Weiss. "How WOULD you describe my sister's touch?" She's completely serious.

"Ruby!" Yang gasps. She places her hands over my human ears. "Avert your gaze, my love! There be perverts among us!"

I smirk. "And WHY have you been meaning to ask?"

Ruby grins. She actually gives a grin that words can only describe as evil. "Sis wasn't always a seasoned veteran of dating warfare."

Yang cries out, "You promised you wouldn't tell!" She reaches for the milk, but it's a few inches out of her reach. "You took the blood oath!" Her fingers desperately strain for the tall glass. "Don't make me get up and splash you!"

I cock my head to get a better view of Ruby, who is simply enjoying herself. "You took a blood oath?"

"It would explain your color scheme." Weiss comments with a smirk of her own.

Ruby laughs and explains, "We used tomato juice!" She grumbles, "Honestly." as she pops the rest of Weiss's cookie into her mouth. "Anyways, his name was-"

"Ruby, nooo!" Yang pleads, "Name your price! Just please shut up!"

"His?" I clarify, "Yang's into boys?" This is news to me. She's never displayed any interest before.

"Oh yeah, she was always batting her eyelashes at the big ones!" Ruby reveals with a laugh. She raises her left hand and points it directly at Yang. "You remember Shepard?"

Yang groans, "Please don't."

"She made a pass at him during recess in the seventh grade. I saw the whole thing too, 'cause sis and I always shared lunches together." She moves her hands to Weiss's shoulders and begins to massage them, much to her girlfriend's delight. "She marched right over to where he was sitting, sat down, slammed her brown bag down and asked him if he'd like to tend her flock."

Awful. Absolutely awful.

I can feel Yang burying her head in my neck. "What did he say?" Weiss and I ask simultaneously.

She offers me her hand.

I high five it.

"Well, he stared at her for a few seconds, and then said, 'I should go.'!" Ruby breaks into laughter, rolling her head back. "And then he just got up and left!"

Weiss and I share a laugh as well. She actually pulls herself away from Ruby to retrieve two glasses of milk. She hands one to me and offers a toast.

"Seriously?!" Yang gawks at us as we ting our glasses together and drink heartily.

"Consider this as part of your repayment." Weiss informs her. "You've burned down the cafeteria, summoned a fire spitting sea monster, got us lost at sea, and put us all in body casts on more occasions than I care to remember!" She declares as she finishes off the rest of her milk. "I've earned this moment of embarrassment." She deadpans as she sets the empty glass back on the table and leans back into Ruby's arms.

Ruby adds, "You also woke us up on a Saturday Morning. That's, like, a crime against nature."

"You've also made love to me in numerous places that are legally considered public." I remind her with a smirk. I still can't figure out if she has a specific thing for that, or if she just finds me most appealing in the yellow rays of the sun.

Weiss nods in approval and requests of Ruby, "Please, continue, love." with a sigh of satisfaction.

Ruby begins to fiddle with Weiss's ornamental hair piece and undoes the ponytail, causing the snow white hair to flow freely. "Okay, so the next boy was this really dumb guy." Do tell.

"I hate all of you." Yang grumbles in defeat as she buries her head into my back.

What an interesting event. "I see your standards aren't as high as you lead me to believe." I murmur to my lover, reaching behind me to pat her on her own back.

"Mmmrgh." is all she gives in response.

"His name was Gavin." Ruby continues. "It was the ninth grade." She recalls fondly. "And on the first day of class, she apparently had the hots for him."

"Apparently?" Weiss and I ask, again, in unison. We look at each other for just a moment before the three of us burst into laughter.

"Yeah, apparently. See, I wasn't there." Ruby explains, "Y'know, two years younger means two years behind." We both nod in understanding.

Yang just grumbles. She'll be fine. She survived atomic fire breath to the face.

"I only found out about it because of the school's principal." Oooh, this is going to be good. "So, it's their weapon crafting class, and she was making these advances on him."

"I was not!" Yang interrupts, pointing an accusing finger at her. "I was making puns!"

"Dear." I gently place my hand on her own and pull it down to my midriff, where it belongs. "Puns ARE your advances."

"They are not." She reproaches me.

"They are too." I correct her.

"They are not." She lies. Blatantly lies.

"ANYWAYS!" Ruby interrupts our lovers' spat. "It turns out this Gavin boy got his finger stuck in a hole in his desk." She begins to laugh, "And Yang wanted to be the knight in shining armor, so she tried to get him out and used her jelly sandwich as lube! She almost ripped his finger off!"

Weiss grins, looking back at Ruby and asking, "Seriously?"

Scowling, Yang adds, "He just ran off crying. Ungrateful brat." She murmurs, "He'd probably still be stuck there if it wasn't for me."

"Pfft!" Ruby reaches over and grabs another cookie. "No, he'd probably cut it off and come after you when he found out you grew into a D cup."

Weiss frowns ever so slightly. The poor girl. It's not the size; it's how you use it.

"HAH!" Yang exclaims, right in my ear. "It's a shame that I'm off the market." She sighs.

Weiss claps her hands together. "Alright, I think Yang's been put through enough for tonight." she declares as she pulls away from Ruby and sits up properly on the sofa. "We can unwrap our gifts, and then Ruby and I are retiring to our quarters." She reveals to us as she pulls the gifts from the table and distributes them to us. "Once we do, the two of you may parade around in the snow for all I care."

Ruby and Yang laugh.

I remember fondly, "We did that already. It ended in civil war, as I recall."

"That's because you flaunted your sexiness in front of me." Yang replies in her own defense as she receives the yellow box.

"Thank you." I say to Weiss as I receive the black.

Naturally, Ruby gets the red.

"Nothing for you?" I ask in surprise. She deserves the greatest gift for such hospitality.

Weiss moves her arms out and motions around her. "This is my gift. This team, this friendship." She places a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "And this love."

As her girlfriend lightly blushes, Weiss motions towards the wrapped boxes. "These are a small portion of my gratitude to all of you."

"Wow, Weiss." Yang begins, but is at a loss for words. "I don't know what to say."

I finally manage to sit up properly and get a good look at Yang who finally puts her legs down on the floor. "Perhaps giving thanks?" I offer.

She grins. Oh no. "I guess you could say that's a weiss thing to say?"

Weiss and I groan.

"Sis." Ruby deadpans, "You just obliterated the moment."

Yang sets her gift in between us as she gets up and extends her arms. "C'mere, my future sister-in-law." She orders, pulling the girl into an embrace.

Weiss immediately wraps her arms around Yang. "You're very cushioned." She grunts before pushing away. "Enough mushy stuff. Just open your gifts so Ruby and I don't have to wait any longer." Hmm, very impatient. I'm not sensing her aura flaring, though. This impatience is calculated, not spurred.

What are you planning, princess?

"I'll help accelerate the process." I politely inform my friend as I begin to unwrap my gift.

Yang and Weiss resume their positions on the sofa, and I am quite delighted to find a wonderful gift. "'LIVY-History of Rome'." I read aloud as I pick up the thick novel and look to Weiss. Livy was the first Roman historian to cover the second Punic War. A well-chosen gift, Weiss. I'll need to come up with a way to repay you.

"I know how much you love Roman history." Weiss explains, "That's just one of the books, of course. The rest are being delivered to Beacon." Her smile is so gentle.

"I wouldn't expect anything less than perfection from a Schnee." I pander to her ego as I place a kiss on her cheek. "It's a wonderful gift, Weiss. Thank you."

Weiss extends her right hand. "I need at least one sane person in my life." She declares, followed by a smirk as Ruby and Yang voice their displeasure.

Grinning, I take her hand in my own and give it a firm shake.

"Alright, me next!" Yang exclaims with excitement as she tears the paper open and practically pulls the box apart. She looks inside and immediately starts laughing.

Before anyone can ask what the joke is, she pulls out a rather unassuming silver stained hairbrush. "Is this a steel brush?!" She wheezes with laughter.

Weiss nods. "I told you I would make good on my threat." She reminds her.

Weiss and I found out rather quickly that Yang's hair would break almost every manufactured blade that attempted to comb or cut it.

"Well," Yang continues to cackle, "I say we try it out now." She offers it to Weiss. "Would you do me the honor?"

Weiss stands up. "I suppose it's only fitting." She decides as she places the comb into the golden hair.

And, with all of her might, she pulls down on it.

The comb snaps at the handle.

"SWEET LORD!" Weiss exclaims, dropping the handle in shock. The teeth of the brush are still in her hair. "I DON'T EVEN- WHAT?!" Oh, that sounded like an expensive brush too.

Ruby starts laughing. "You did good, Weiss!" She reassures her girlfriend. "You did good!"

Weiss throws her hands up in defeat. "I give up. I don't even care anymore." She decides as she sits back down in between Ruby and myself.

"At last, my hair can know peace." Yang sighs as she plucks the comb's teeth from her hair and picks up the fallen handle. "Alright, sis, your turn!" She deduces as she places both pieces back on the table.

Ruby eagerly tears away the paper. "I hope you didn't go overboard, Wei-" The rest of her sentence dies on her tongue as she opens the box and looks inside.

"What is it?" Yang eagerly demands.

Her face is growing red. Very red. And very quickly.

"Something nice." I observe, daring not to lean over for a peak.

"We will be using that tonight." Weiss murmurs with a hint of seduction in her tone.

Oh.

Ruby puts the lid back on the box. "Wow, what a day! I'm beat!" She declares as she pulls Weiss up with her, white hair flowing freely behind her. "I think I'll turn in now! Goodnight, Blake! Goodnight, sis!" She waves to us with the box in her hand.

Weiss takes the initiative and steps ahead of Ruby, opening the door for her. She looks back at us and winks.

The door slams shut, leaving the two of us on a sofa with shreds of wrapping paper, empty boxes, a book of Roman History, and a plate of unfinished cookies and milk.

"That was a thing." Yang murmurs.

"And apparently a very kinky one at that." I add. My life, while still very young, has had many hardships and trials.

"So, what do we do now?" Yang asks, turning to me for guidance. But, things have changed for me in these last four years.

"I think..." I murmur, putting the book on the table and sweeping off the wrapping paper. "That this is the part where you make ferocious love to me." I theorize as I pull her down on top of me, long locks of golden hair falling down around me.

"Oooh, THAT part." Yang grins like an idiot as she begins to remove my clothing.

And right now, all I have to say, besides Yang's name over and over, is one last sentence.

"Yes, that part. And you'd better not decimate the mood." I threaten as I start removing her own clothing.

It's a wonderful life.

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A/N:

The first word is always the hardest to type. But in my experience, the rest basically writes itself. The story is already there. I just arrange the letters.

Regardless, I've spent three solid days of refining this.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fit of sLAUGHTER!


End file.
